Pain

I'm in severe pain. It feels like my chest is about to crack open from the sheer pressure I feel as I take every aching breath. I'm in such pain that everytime I open my eyes I feel the pain that vibrates through my run down body. I'm in pain. I wish someone could make it stop, but it seems like only I can do that only I can make this growing pain end. How long do I have before it tears me completely apart? I need to breathe again, when will I be able to?

Nunca Va a Saber

Dramatico nunca va a saber porque cuando el me trata asi me pongo triste. Tampoco nunca va a saber porque ella siempre va a tener algo ensema de mi. Porque cuando son ellas siempre va a ser mas importante de mi. Nunca cierra la telephono o ignorarlas pero cuando soy yo el lo hace tanto. Yo nunca voy a saber porque yo le quiero tan mucho asi.

Quotes in the office

After I had finished majority of my work at Downstate today I decided to look around and I noticed a lot of new quotes up. "Remember silence is the best weapon against noise." "Believe in yourself and others will too." "The search of self requires truth to the self." And my favorite which I'm gonna try to live by: "Do not allow yourself to become upset by people and things, they are powerles. Your reaction is their only power."

Intership 2

I thought this internship would have been a little more exciting. I have barely any work to do there at all. I spend most of the day laughing at the characters that work there. A few of them just come in to gossip. I thought as being a payroll office they would have more for me to do but I guess not. Maybe after I finish with this mailing list they'll teach me something new and interesting.

Quote of the day

I read this on my homegirl's profile. "If you love somebody let them go, if they come back to you it was meant to be, if they don't their love was never yours to begin with.

Lonely 2

I feel alone in a house full of people. I bored when I should be doing homework. This weekend I did all of my homework and I was still bored. I was home with what is supposed to be family and was completely by myself. For me it seems to have become the norm.

Sorry

Tazhy, I'm sorry I haven't been paying you much attention lately. Sorry I haven't been there to help you answer your self thought up questions about your boyfriend. I'm also sorry I was so closed minded about you becoming a vegan, you know I support any decision you choose to make in your life. So if your choosing to be a vegan then I'm happy for you but I definitely won't be joining you. Dramatic, I'm sorry I haven't been taking the hint but you've been all I have for the past year and you needing to be alone or you feeling hateful and empty is making me feel the same way because I feel like I can't help. I'm sorry that haven't been as considerate as I should be. Tazhy and Dramatic, I'm sorry that I didn't tell y'all about Kevin earlier but ya'll really mean more to me than he ever could and I figured as long as he knew about y'all then everything is fine. He is not a boyfriend he is just a friend. I would never put him before you. Dramatic, he is not getting attention, time or resources that I would be giving to you. Tazhy, Vanessa does not know more about him than you do and he is not getting more time or attention than you.

I don't know

Lately, I've been having to put up with attitude and crap from everywhere and everyone I'm getting tired of it. I can deal with almost everything people try to throw at me but I hate being ignored and hung up on that shit gets old quick. I'm tired of feeling bad everytime I get ignored I can't take that shit anymore.

Stats

Well I guess I have been slacking off as much as I thought because right now I'm shining through in math and english. For the moment I'm at an A average in Science Research and I'm the only one with an up to date bimder. I feel newly motivated so instead of postponing my homework I'm gonna knock out all and any withstanding projects that I could be doing.

Kevin

Since a few of my friends have been wondering Kevin is a new buddy. He and I are still in the friend stage he wants us to be more but I guess I'm not ready to give up my freedom. See as long as were friends I dont have to answer the who, what, where or whys of my whereabouts. I also don't have to call him everyday or expect a call everyday or have someone bugging me about getting a cellphone. All these questions and cellphone discussions just make me feel trapped. Kevin is also the common jealous type because he thinks because I'm in school and I don't get home until a certain time he thinks I'll cheat, which is another reason why I won't go out with him I don't want to cheat. He's about 6'2" chubby built not the extreme muscle type or the complete fat type either its a pretty good in between look. He's brown skinned and his eyes are gray which is just a complete turn-on. Kevin is also a sweetheart though he'll bring me chocolate when I have my period, if i tell him I have cramps he'll offer to rub my tummy and he'll carry my bookbag especially if it looks like I'm struggling to carry it, he'll wake up at 5 in the morning if I wanted him to walk with me to school but it just seems like I'm not interested in him right now. As I said before there is only one guy I want but he's not interested. I'll repeat my question why do you always want the person you can't have?

Why?

Why is it that when you catch an attitude because a guy does some inappropriate shit in public your being a bitch? Friday I gave Alberto a hug and Marc got jealous and asked for a hug too. I gave him one because I still consider him a friend. Marc decided to grow great big balls and start grabbing on me like we wasn't in the middle of a crowded hallway. I have no idea what went through his mind. I caught an attitude quick and I was about to slap him but he apoligized I can understand the jealous but we aren't going out and even if we were that would cause an uproar of unneccessary rumors that I don't need. Guys please understand this showing u care by being jealous is different from getting jealous and being an asshole.