My Philosophy

Today after I met up with my mother and came home one of my friends Ray Ray who I grew up with asked me to meet him real quick outside. I didnt know what he wanted but I met him right outside my building five minutes later. Ray then handed me a bag from Sephora, I asked what this was for and he said no reason just because. Inside were two products from Sephora's philosophy line. I opened them quickly to smell and it was better than anything I've ever smelt in my life. Ray said he had to go so he gave me a hug and a kiss on the forehead and was like enjoy.

I liked what the bottles had to say so here's my philosophy:

Cinnamon Buns: philosophy: 1/4c. warm milk, 1/2c. sugar, 1tsp. salt, 1tbsp. cinnamon, 4tbsp. sofented butter, 2 eggs, 1 pkg. dry yeast, 1/4c. warm water, 2 1/2c. flour. Mix all ingredients except yeast, water, and flour and let cool. Stir and dissolve yeast in warm water. Add yeast to first mixture, beat until mixed. Add 1 1/2 c. flour. Cover and let rise for 1 hour. Add remaining floyr, blend well. Knead until smooth. Put dough in greased bowl, cover, let rise until double its size. Punch down, shape rolls, let rise for 1 hour. Bake at 400 for 18 minutes.

Soul owner: philosophy: let's review your only true assets. you own your values, your integrity, your thoughts, your words, your actions and therefore, your destiny. question: are you proud of what you own? what is your true net worth to the world and the people around you? are you really rich or do you just have money?

I am Removing Myself

I am thanking those of you who have been in my life but I definitely need some time alone.I have decided on my own that until I can be happy for all of you I rather be by myself.

I am trying to be happy for Tazhy, but although she deserves to be with Jamal I don't want to even think about how happy she is cause it makes me cry. I am trying to be happy for Dramatic and Nyika but I can't I want him, I wanted him since I met him seeing him with other people just hurts. I am trying to be happy for Vanessa and her many men but I cant. I just can't let them have what they deserve.

I do love you all but I just can't be there, I wish all of you the best.

My mother

I know everyone is probably wondering why I am always writing about my mother but she truly is a psychopath, and lately my best friend has been telling me more and more that I'm turning into my mother.

I actually dread ever being the way she is, her latest stupidity was her opening my pads to see if I was truly bleeding and then determining that it wasn't enough for her to be satisfied with. I know disgusting right, but obviously she feels as my mother she has the right to do whatever she wants to concerning me. She also thinks that I am pregnant thats why I haven't been bleeding to her satisfaction. I am not pregnant but thats up to her to believe.

All day today she was walking up and down threatening to tell my father of her theory because she like I both know that he would kick me out. I honestly don't care if she does or doesn't because I am not pregnant and if they do kick me out their issue, I maybe homeless but I would know I own them nothing.

11/18/05

I know its been awhile since my last post, but I haven't had much to say. I'm not happy, I feel like shit, nobody seems to have time in their lives for me anymore and no matter how hard I try I'm always in the wrong. I get grief about my own choices.

I am happy for Tazhy and her new boyfriend, she finally has a chance to be happy and that means a lot to me. I wish Dramatic was happy but I can't make him happy and I don't know what to do anymore.

School is long and boring everyday, but I'm tired of being one of the people who complain about being bored so whatever I have to do to make it a little more exciting I will do.

My classes are even starting to stress me it seems like everytime I look around when I get one thing done right I have something new to work on. I'm hoping that won't last all school year.

As far as the president getting anything done I don't know whats going on there I haven't really seen anything, but hopefully they will get things up and running soon. Although I didnt win I hope that she does get the job done right.